As moms in this day and age, we often feel pressures to be many things at once. Some of us were raised by strict parents and perhaps we are trying to approach our own parenting roles in a more liberal fashion. So the question is, “do I need to be my child’s friend?” My answer? “How has it been working for you so far?”

If you have been approaching your mothering as your child’s friend, but there are problems arising, that is your signal to do something differently. The role your child needs you to take will ebb and flow and change many times. So if being a friend is not working, it is okay to become more of an authority figure. It is okay to revamp your parenting blueprint to fit the current needs of your child.

I invite you to reframe your perspective on being a friend to your child. Let’s explore what being a friend means. Being a friend sometimes means telling someone the truth even when the truth is hard to hear. Being a friend can mean taking a stand when it’s in the best interest of your friend. Being a friend is not always about going along with the other party 100%. So when you are parenting your child in a way that makes her “hate her life” and groan and moan… you might actually be being her true friend at that very moment. Will he or she see it that way right now? Not likely. But soon, they will thank you for giving what they needed, and not necessarily what they wanted.

If you want to enlist the support of a parenting coach, be selective. Shop around because your parenting life coach can play a key role in the results you see in your life, as a parent. As a professional with a background in early childhood education as well as coaching, I believe I bring the best of both worlds to my clients. Ask questions when you speak to your prospective parenting coach and get a feel for their style. Armed with your instinct and some information from your perspective parenting coach, you can achieve the results you want for your parent/child relationship.